We require staff to:

  1. Keep her/himself up-to-date with legislation, research and thinking on promoting positive behaviour and on handling children’s behaviour where it may require additional support;
  2. Access relevant sources of expertise on promoting positive behaviour within the programme for supporting personal, social and emotional development ; and
  3. Check that all staff have relevant in-service training on promoting positive behaviour. We keep a record of staff attendance at this training.
  • We recognise that codes for interacting with other people vary between cultures and require staff to be aware of and respect those used by members of the setting
  • We familiarise new staff and volunteers with the setting’s behaviour policy and its guidelines for behaviour.
  • We expect all members of our setting – children, parents, staff, volunteers and students – to keep to the guidelines, requiring these to be applied consistently.
  • We work in partnership with children’s parents. Parents are regularly informed about their children’s behaviour by their key person. We work with parents to address recurring inconsiderate behaviour, using our observation records to help us to understand the cause and to decide jointly how to respond appropriately.

Strategies with children who engage in inconsiderate behaviour

  • We require all staff, volunteers and students to use positive strategies for handling any inconsiderate behaviour, by helping children find solutions in ways which are appropriate for the children’s ages and stages of development.
  • We acknowledge considerate behaviour such as kindness and willingness to share.
  • We support each child in developing self-esteem, confidence and feelings of competence.
  • We support each child in developing a sense of belonging in our group, so that they feel valued and welcome.
  • When children behave in inconsiderate ways, we help them to understand the outcomes of their action and support them in learning how to cope more appropriately by using reward systems where appropriate.
  • We never send children out of the room by themselves, nor do we use a ‘naughty chair’ or a ‘time out’ strategy that excludes children from the group.
  • We do not use techniques intended to single out and humiliate individual children.
  • Our role is to maintain the children’s safety. We would restrict a child when a child is misbehaving in a way that could cause them to hurt themselves, someone else or the property.
  • Details of such an event (what happened, what action was taken and by whom, and the names of witnesses) are brought to the attention of our setting manager and are recorded in the child’s personal file. The child’s parent is informed on the same day.
  • In cases of serious misbehaviour, such as racial or other abuse, we make clear immediately the unacceptability of the behaviour and attitudes, by means of explanations rather than personal blame.
  • We do not shout or raise our voices in a threatening way to respond to children’s inconsiderate behaviour.

Children under three years

  • When children under three behave in inconsiderate ways we recognise that strategies for supporting them will need to be developmentally appropriate and differ from those for older children.
  • Common inconsiderate or hurtful behaviours of young children include tantrums, biting or snatching. Staff are calm and patient, offering comfort to intense emotions, helping children to manage their feelings and talk about them to help resolve issues and promote understanding.
  • If tantrums, biting or snatching are frequent, we try to find out the underlying cause – such as a change at home, or frequent change of carers. Sometimes a child has not settled in well and the behaviour may be the result of ‘separation anxiety’.
  • We focus on ensuring a child’s attachment figure in the setting, their key person, is building a strong relationship to provide security

Rough and tumble play and fantasy aggression

Young children often engage in play that has aggressive themes – such as superhero and weapon play; some children appear pre-occupied with these themes, but their behaviour is not necessarily a precursor to hurtful behaviour or bullying, although it may be inconsiderate at times and may need addressing using strategies as above.

  • We recognise that teasing and rough and tumble play are normal for young children and acceptable within limits. We regard these kinds of play as pro-social and not as problematic or aggressive.
  • We will develop strategies to contain play that are agreed with the children, and understood by them, with acceptable behavioural boundaries to ensure children are not hurt.
  • We recognise that fantasy play also contains many violently dramatic strategies, blowing up, shooting etc., and that themes often refer to ‘goodies and baddies’ and as such offer opportunities for us to explore concepts of right and wrong.
  • We are able to tune in to the content of the play, perhaps to suggest alternative strategies for heroes and heroines, making the most of ‘teachable moments’ to encourage empathy and lateral thinking to explore alternative scenarios and strategies for conflict resolution.

Hurtful behaviour

  • We take hurtful behaviour very seriously. Most children under the age of five will at some stage hurt or say something hurtful to another child, especially if their emotions are high at the time, but it is not helpful to label this behaviour as ‘bullying’. For children under five, hurtful behaviour is momentary, spontaneous and often without cognisance of the feelings of the person whom they have hurt.
  • We recognise that young children behave in hurtful ways towards others because they have not yet developed the means to manage intense feelings that sometimes overwhelm them.
  • We will help them manage these feelings as they have neither the biological means nor the cognitive means to do this for themselves.
  • We understand that self-management of intense emotions, especially of anger, happens when the brain has developed neurological systems to manage the physiological processes that take place when triggers activate responses of anger or fear.
  • Therefore we help this process by offering support, calming the child who is angry as well as the one who has been hurt by the behaviour. By helping the child to return to a normal state, we are helping the brain to develop the physiological response system that will help the child be able to manage his or her own feelings.
  • Our way of responding to pre-verbal children is to calm them through holding and cuddling. Verbal children will also respond to cuddling to calm them down, but we offer them an explanation and discuss the incident with them to their level of understanding.
  • We recognise that young children require help in understanding the range of feelings they experience. We help children recognise their feelings by naming them and helping children to express them, making a connection verbally between the event and the feeling. Older children will be able to verbalise their feelings better, talking through themselves the feelings that motivated the behaviour.
  • We are aware that the same problem may happen over and over before skills such as sharing and turn-taking develop. In order for both the biological maturation and cognitive development to take place, children will need repeated experiences with problem solving, supported by patient adults and clear boundaries.
  • We support social skills through modelling behaviour, through activities, drama and stories. We build self-esteem and confidence in children, recognising their emotional needs through close and committed relationships with them.
  • We help a child to understand the effect that their hurtful behaviour has had on another child; we encourage this where it is clear that they are genuinely sorry and wish to show this to the person they have hurt.
  • When hurtful behaviour becomes problematic, we work with parents to identify the cause and find a solution together.
  • Where this does not work, we use the Code of Practice to support the child and family, making the appropriate referrals to a Behaviour Support Team where necessary.